He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
