Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
