i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
