as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
