He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
