wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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