I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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