I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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