My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
