if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
