Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
