is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
