peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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