Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
