Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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