you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need a burrito and a hug.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
