he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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