ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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