So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Im part way to drunk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
