is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
