Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize