The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
