and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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