One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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