it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
