how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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