I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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