After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize