Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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