great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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