Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
send nudes
from the living room?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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