you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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