"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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