Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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