Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
