Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
