I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
