Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
