we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
