my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
