i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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