just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
