my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
