If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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