i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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