smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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