you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
