the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
