So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
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I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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