She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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