To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
