I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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