You really coming over, don't trick.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
