When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
