is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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