Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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