I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
