I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
