Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And then my night got REAL pukey
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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