At least make sure they are 18
Why
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
