if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
